A Time for Everything
You haven't aged a day...
Memoir 003 revisited: Dearest Friend
As we wander through this strangely beautiful life, we define our existence by what is, and what is not. There is little room for anything in the space between. We love with little regard for self-preservation, we anger with perfected irony, and we rationalize our intrinsic properties with science, often losing sight of anything besides ourselves. We are the only creature that has transcended the biological laws by which we have built our understanding. The evolutionary biologist will explain that we have gained self-awareness and consciousness on a level beyond all other species. Darwin was fundamentally incorrect on many levels, and so much that many will claim as fact; we are a small mishap in the deep corner of a vast and immeasurable cosmos. I have a much more optimistic view: we bear the fingerprints of God.
Dearest Friend,
It seems like such long and tiresome periods exist to define the space between our hearts. You don't really know who I am, and it stings like a dullness too deep to discriminate; you've never really known who I am. But I've known you. With a smile on my face and with joy in my heart I have paid you attention, never losing a moment on you. Like the child is fascinated by the penny, like the innocent soul plays in the imagination, I too have believed such things about you. There are no words for that which you've inspired in me, just know that it's lovely. You've been lovely. You've been my muse. When I think of you, I fill with the bittersweet, and struggle to fight the wonderful tears that encompass a nature unrelenting, waves on the shores of my mind. It knocks at my door; I stare out from behind the windowpane that becomes my allegory. I suppose some would call me mad, but I've read stories about beautiful places, and those who inhabit these worlds are often mad as well, and I enjoy them so. Maybe it's not such a bad thing, to be mad. I thought I read about you in a Dickens novel, and then I thought I heard you in a song…I thought I touched you in a dream. My waking hours are long; they reach into the smaller moments, where I spend my mind poor. The bits and moments in between have been filled with you. My dearest Friend, you haven't aged a day. I've seen the Mona Lisa, but it was your smile that brought mystery to my life. I've heard the Fur Elise, but it was your laugh that opened the windows of my soul. The breeze flowed in, and it stole my heart away. You were there, when I first saw Rome, and you were there, when I first felt love. I'll never grow old, dearest Friend. You taught me not to grow old.
The audience goes quiet now, the passers-by in the street. No one needs to say it; no one needs to break the silence that comes for peace of mind. It's been quiet for so long, and I miss you so very much. I'm just a picture in your world, but this picture is mine and not yours. Drawn on a simple piece of paper, you may not remember me at all. That was long ago, when you created, when you were small. You were my artist; you splattered color on all of the white. Like rain it all poured down, and like rain it helped life along. I sense you everywhere I go. Sunshine beams through the green of the trees, washing golden over the earth, sparkling on the riverbed; it’s your eyes. Nature speaks with the flutter of wings and the buzz of the bees, the hummingbird drinks and the wooly bear crawls; it’s you breathing. Shackled to this cold, bus stop bench, it’s bleak and gloomy, as the paper wrappers and wispy snow whisper down this road of concrete. Seems I’ve come a long way from the place where I first knew you. The road doesn’t end, and I see you less often now. You’ve become less than real, and more than any dream. It seems that such long and tiresome periods exist to define the space between our hearts. You don't know me, but I’d like to believe I've known you. I suppose I’ll never be sure, after all it’s been so long. I’ll write it in a letter, one I’ve never meant to send. The boy puts the firefly in a jar, with all the wonder in the world he watches until its light goes away. If you knew what you were, you would no longer be what you are. If only the boy knew that the price of his wonder would be the cost of a life. No, you must never know, my dearest Friend. I know who you are, and what you’ve been to me. In relativity I find you, magnificent as the stones on Easter Island. There has been no sadness like this sadness you have touched me with. The most vast and immeasurable feeling that I’ve ever had. It spills when I move. I love you, dearest Friend. With all that I am, I love you.
Looking back, I am amazed in my conversations with God. Often my words and His Word do not match, and I seek to right my vessel and correct my path to better align with Him. I have seen many things, and I have known much in this small sequence of events we call life. For many years, I prayed for an existence of great consequence, one that never hangs within the balance of all things, but allows for the extremes, such that I could leave this Earth with no stone unturned in my heart of hearts. To live and breathe in purity, to drink from all knowledge, to feel of all feelings, and to give up the Ghost with no dreams left to imagine. I have been obliged by the Lord, and my prayers remain answered.
Matthew 7: 7-8 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.
God has moved in extraordinary ways, and I know I speak to those with ears to hear, and eyes to see when I say: there is a difference between the water and the blood, the flesh and the spirit. I do not often testify, but to be born again is to truly know something, so deeply, so honestly, and so purely, that there is no turning back. Once saved, always saved. I didn’t always agree with this statement, however, this is an ultimate truth, because it is relentless. Perhaps the Lord reveals Himself to those of us who require it, when we walked for too long with little faith. To experience God in a supernatural way cannot be unseen, cannot be unfelt. Imagine: two plus two equals four. No one will refute this, in fact, no person could generally forget this, even if they attempted to remove it from their memory. One will not argue with you over this, or attempt to prove it to you. They will not break out the pen and paper, discuss mathematical theory, or entertain some fantastical notion of the opposition of its truth. This is what occurs when one is saved: the Way, the Truth, and the Life is revealed in such a way that it becomes unnecessary to entertain the absence of God. Most scientists, who are ironically dogmatic in their approaches, will say that this is a flaw in logic, that is, to not entertain alternative hypotheses. However, if you ask them about something like evolution, they will undoubtedly, and without shame, become very defensive in the position that evolution is truth beyond reasonable doubt. Urey and Miller proved that you could put electricity through a mixture of inorganic molecules and form an amino acid, and somehow that proves evolution? Weird. So how did the amino acids self-assemble into proteins? Where did the lipids come into existence, and how about those pesky carbohydrates? Each of these macromolecules is necessary for an organelle and a cell. The tapestry of the lipid bilayer alone is of staggering complexity. How did those things all come together to form a cell, all cellular organelles included? A cell can’t exist without a single one of its specific organelles, and the organelles don’t simply exist alone outside of the cell. Did those organelles all form with the intent of building a cell over millions of years? I think not. You have about 4 hours of time before molecular decay overtakes molecular synthesis in the evolutionary argument, so despite the shrill cries of the abiogenesis club, time is NOT on their side. It’s even more interesting when they use fossils and artifacts from “millions” of years ago as evidence. Interestingly, I don’t know of anything that lasts for millions of years, let alone preserved. They will claim a bone that was somehow embedded in rock is millions of years old? Don’t bones turn into dust after approximately 80 years? We exist in a society that has seen too many Jurassic Park movies. Dinosaurs sell theatre tickets, and the theory that you evolved from a primitive monkey is a subtle way to dehumanize you. This is akin to calling an unborn baby a fetus instead of a human: one doesn’t think it’s murder if you don’t assign it a human status. Sure, the word fetus has its roots in Latin, and it indeed means unborn child, but few people dig that deep, and to quote Juli Loesch,
“The strategy is to make things seem more dehumanized--as when politicians shy away from saying "dead men and women" and speak more airily about the "attrition of unfriendly forces" or even the "tactical reduction of NVA cadre."
Doesn't sound a bit like killing, does it? Neither does "termination of pregnancy."
This technique is usually employed in trying to defend the indefensible. Like igniting villagers who live in free-fire zones with flaming jellied gasoline: pacification. Like building enough nuclear warheads to turn every city on earth into a crematorium: deterrence. Like slicing, poisoning, and flushing away a million little boys and girls every year...”
Think carefully on things like this, there is no aspect of society that evil has not slipped its hand into, and our apathy to such things has allowed this to occur. I digress. They will refute things like God because they cannot see Him on paper, they cannot control the narrative of Jesus, and they don’t believe in natural law. Will they refute two plus two equaling four? No. Why? Because it can be proven on paper. However, if you ask the same people to prove love, they will not be able to do it. Love is not tangible, you cannot draw it, or put it into equations, or measure it with instrumentation. Yet every single person seems to have an idea of love, and most will claim to know what it is. In fact, it is those pushing abortion, the transgender madness, and the dictatorial nonsense of COVID genocide that call themselves the party of love, something seemingly as impossible to prove as the Lord. The selective cognitive dissonance is so very obscene and blatant at this point. I am happy to stand in the light of my God, and give all glory to Him.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
In our early years, we choose what we will plant. When the time to pluck up that which is planted comes, you cannot pluck up an orange if you have planted an apple. Be careful what you plant, and may your decisions be wise, for what you wish to pluck in your years may not be what you desired and planted in your youth. May your laughter be plenty, and your dancing be full. May your loss be small, and your war be short. May your hatred be little, and your peace be forever. Be so full of Christ that it spills when you move. Live long and die young.
Thank you for this!!! I am glad I stumbled on your Substack. In Jesus’s name AMEN!!